


eyeshadow and flags

by amybri2002



Series: pride month!!! [4]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Coming Out, Gen, Implied Transphobia, Unaccepting Parents, agender!roman, mild misgendering, remus is trying his best ok, roman birthday fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-05
Updated: 2020-06-05
Packaged: 2021-03-04 01:08:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,515
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24555178
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amybri2002/pseuds/amybri2002
Summary: As much as they want to keep everything a secret, Roman realises they can’t hide from their brother forever.
Relationships: Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders & Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders
Series: pride month!!! [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1769050
Comments: 16
Kudos: 138





	eyeshadow and flags

**Author's Note:**

> aaaa ok i’m a day late bc reasons but! day four of pride prompts! today’s (well, yesterday’s) prompt was ‘flag’. and, as it was also roman’s birthday yesterday, this doubles as a roman birthday fic. hope y’all enjoy :)

Roman closed their door and let out a breath, sinking down to the floor. Guests were just beginning to leave - family members and family friends who'd come to celebrate their birthday, no one they were particularly interested in celebrating with but oh well. They'd be celebrating with their actual friends later in the week, sometime after school, although a couple had already given them their presents. Thinking that they'd be alone for a while longer, Roman scooted over to the other corner of their room and grabbed a few presents out of their school bag, leaning against their bed as they began to open them.

A photo album - that was sweet. As they flicked through the pages, they saw pictures of themself and their friends, in local parks and each other's bedrooms and at pride parades, all the fun times they'd had together. But their smile slowly faded, as they shut the book tight and hid it back in their school bag, knowing that if their parents found it and opened it and saw that they'd been to pride parades they'd have some _questions_ , and they doubted that would go very well.

Then there was some necklaces and bracelets and makeup, all of which they couldn't wait to try out, but they'd have to wait a while first, perhaps at their next sleepover. And - oh, God, they'd been wanting that eyeshadow palette for ages, it must have cost their friend _so much_. They hummed. Perhaps a _little_ eyeshadow wouldn't hurt, at the very least just to send a selfie to their friend who'd gifted them it. They heard the front door close - that would be their parents going out to get shopping, they always liked to go just before the shops closed. That meant Roman had, say, an hour, alone in the house. Humming, they began to apply some of the eyeshadow, just a simple red to start with, although they were very interested in experimenting some more some other time, and sent a quick photo to their friend.

And then the last present. Roman opened the wrapping, close to tears when they saw that their friend had given them - it was a flag, the nonbinary pride flag. They'd been so close to buying one of these at the last pride parade they'd went to but held themself back, for fear that their parents may find it. And, God, had their friend brought it all the way back then? Without Roman even realising? 

They glanced around their room, considering whether there'd been a place they could hang it up. Probably best not to put it in plain view, anywhere where any of their family members may see it. That meant their options were either back in their bag, or perhaps somewhere their parents wouldn't look, like...

Nothing came to mind. Their mother tended to clean their room during the day whilst they were at school - without them even wanting her too, Roman would be quite happy cleaning on the weekend, but whenever they tried to tell her that she just said they were being 'ungrateful'. The safest places were their closet - their mother always let them put their own clothes away, at least, but it was a little risky - or, again, in their bag. Not feeling like taking the bigger risk, Roman decided to keep it in their bag, looking forward to being able to hang it up properly when they finally had a place of their alone. 

"Roman!" a voice exclaimed, barging through the door and sliding onto their bed. "Roman, they're gone, do you wanna-"

"Remus," Roman hissed, trying their best to hide the flag still sitting in their lap, which was a little difficult to do - they ended up just wrapping the paper around it again, and slowly edging it towards their bag. "What are you doing here?"

"I wanna celebrate your birthday too! And now that the adults are gone we can- Oh!" Remus' eyes lit up with curiously. "What's that?" he asked, pointing at the terribly concealed flag in Roman's lap.

"Nothing," Roman spluttered, shoving it back into their bag. "Just a present from a friend."

"Was it a flag?" Remus guessed, moving closer to Roman. "What country was it? I don't recognise it-"

"It's not a _country_ ," Roman said, trying to make their voice sound not-so-shaky. "It's just some colours. Doesn't really mean anything."

Remus hummed.

Roman glared at him. "What?"

"I guess if you're not gonna tell me, I'll just have to look it up myself," he said, grinning. "What colours was it again - white, purple, was there a yellow in there?"

"Don't worry about it, Remus." Roman picked at their fingernails. "Seriously, it doesn't mean anything."

Remus seemed disappointed. But then a moment later, his eyes widened again. "Are you wearing _eyeshadow_?"

Roman blinked. "No?" Oh, wait, _shit_ , they were, weren't they? "I mean, uh-"

"You totally are!" Remus hummed. "I didn't know guys could wear makeup. Can I try?"

Roman tried their best to not visibly cringe at Remus' statement, but figured they did anyway. Hopefully Remus wouldn't notice their discomfort, though - Remus wasn't exactly the most attentive.

Remus huffed. "Not letting me try? Rude." 

"No, I-" Roman sighed. "Dad won't be too pleased about that. I should probably take it off anyway. Before they get back." They reached for their makeup wipes (also hidden in their bag) and began to take the eyeshadow off.

Remus pouted. "Why would they care?"

Roman rolled their eyes.

"No, seriously, what's wrong with guys-"

"I'm not a _guy_ ," Roman snapped, immediately regretting it afterwards. _Shit_.

Remus blinked. "You're... not?"

Roman breathed in. "I- I mean-"

"Are you a girl?" Remus asked. "Is _that_ why you're wearing makeup? It would be a little weird though if I just find out that this whole time my brother has actually been my sister-" 

Roman cringed. Remus wouldn't understand this - his friends were all right dicks, and Roman was well aware of their parents views. Roman doubted Remus had ever even _heard_ of transgender and nonbinary people existing, and if he _had_ he probably thought it was nothing more than a joke or something weird or _wrong_. But Roman didn't know how to get themself out of this one. They could feel themself shaking. Possibly close to tears.

"Roman?" Remus said, hanging upside down off the bed close to Roman's face. "You okay?"

Roman breathed in. "Yeah. I-" They cleared their throat, trying to pretend that they weren't about to cry. "Can I, uh, talk to you, about something?" 

Apparently sensing the seriousness now in Roman's tone, Remus rolled off the bed and went to sit cross legged next to Roman, the mischievous grin fading from his face. "Yeah, of course." 

Roman looked up at the ceiling, wanting to look anywhere but Remus' eyes. "Promise me you won't make fun of me?"

Remus nodded. "Promise."

"Or tell our parents?"

Remus frowned, but nodded again. "Yeah, sure."

Roman breathed in. It was now or never, they supposed. Maybe Remus wouldn't be a jerk about it. And, if he was, at least Roman knew that they'd have to cut _him_ out of their life as well. That was unlikely, but- 

God. Thinking about it was just making them procrastinate even longer. Roman breathed in, again, then quickly and quietly said, "I'm nonbinary."

Silence. Roman expected that much.

"What's that?" Remus asked, genuine confusion in his voice. Yeah - Roman has expected that too.

"I'm... More _specifically_ I'm agender," they clarified, although that did nothing to make Remus any less confused. "It- It basically means that..." They drummed their fingers on their leg. "I'm not a boy. Or a girl. I don't... _have_ a gender."

After a few more moments of silence, in which Roman was _sure_ Remus was about to shout at them, or punch them, or disown them, or _something_ along those lines. None of that happened. Instead, Remus just asked, "How does that work?"

Roman shrugged. "I- I don't know. Gender's weird. I just- I don't really _feel_ like a boy, or a girl." Remus didn't seem to understand, but he let Roman continue talking. "Sometimes when people call me a guy or use he/him pronouns it feels... icky. I don't know. Like, it doesn't feel like me. But then she/her isn't any better."

Remus hummed. "What... What would you prefer, then?" he asked. "If you don't like he or she."

Roman breathed out. Remus was being cool about it. That was a good sign. "I've been going by they/them with my friends." 

Remus nodded. "Okay. That's cool." He looked down at the floor. "Are you just my... sibling, then?"

Roman nodded. They felt like they were going to cry again, but for entirely different reasons. "Yeah, yeah, that'd be good."

Remus grinned. "Well-" He leant his head in Roman's shoulder. "-you're still the best sibling in the world."

Alright, yes, Roman was _definitely_ going to cry. "Thanks. For being so cool with this."

"You're my sibling," Remus said. "I'm never going to _hate_ you, y'know. No matter _what_ you are."


End file.
